TITLE: Deus Ex MachinaTITLE: Deus Ex Machina AUTHOR: Kelly Keil EMAIL: klkeil@butter.toast.net WEBSITE: http://www.geocities.com/kellylyn73 ARCHIVE: Anywhere, just keep my info attached. FEEDBACK: Is the frosting on my cake. I'd love to know what you think of my story. SPOILERS: Through S7, especially SUZ and Closure, En Ami, Chimera, all things, and Requiem CLASSIFICATION: S, H, A, MSR DISCLAIMER: Scully and Mulder are the property of CC, 1013, and the all powerful Fox network. The gods, however, belong to themselves. SUMMARY: Scully is adopted by a cat with an ulterior motive. NOTES: Many thanks to Maria Nicole, M. Sebasky, Magdeleine, and Cofax for beta and helpful suggestions. My heartfelt gratitude goes out to Yes, Virginia for always being there, even in the wee hours of the night. Dedicated to Mr. Peebles, both real and literary. ______________________ Deus Ex Machina By Kelly Keil "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous As gods went, she was pretty old. Well, goddess, actually, but after racketing around for several millennia, she'd learned not to sweat the small stuff. Besides, in this age, the word goddess held no cachet. It brought to mind middle-aged women who didn't shave or wear bras and tended to shop at new age stores. Women who, in general, didn't have much use for men. The god didn't approve. True, she'd been retired for years, but the job never quite let you go. She'd kept a paw in, dabbling in her old vocation from time to time over the years. She'd done it mostly out of boredom. It was lonely being a god with no followers, and immortality tended to drag on and on. Technically she wasn't supposed to mess with people who didn't worship her, but if a god can't bend the rules, who can? Just to be on the safe side, she tended to work on those who were atheists, or confused in their faith. Above all, she only meddled with those who needed her most. That way, if the shit ever did hit the fan, she could always explain to whatever god she'd offended that she'd only been trying to help. Her newest victim...er...prospective client fell into the confused category. The poor woman didn't know what to believe. Technically she did fall under the purview of another god, but the woman's faith was very shaky right now. Close enough. Per the requirements, the woman was barren. She sensed a man in this woman's life, which was also necessary. The god was good, but she wasn't up to immaculate conceptions. The woman's relationship with the man, however, seemed as uncertain and tangled as a ball of yarn in the paws of frisky kitten. A challenge. The god smiled, licking her chops. She liked challenges. Still grinning, she made her way towards the woman, who was walking from her car to the door of her apartment building. It was time to introduce herself. Once upon a time, Bastet had been her name. Now and forever, fertility was her game. * * * Scully felt something rub up against her ankle and nearly lost it. She'd been on edge too much lately. For the past seven years, if one was keeping track-- a very long time not relax your guard. Nerves jangling, she looked down at her feet. Something was rubbing up against her. Something dark. Something furry. A cat. Scully's anxiety switched to annoyance. She wasn't very fond of cats. They were secretive, sulky, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied. They came and went on their own schedule. Come to think of it, that described Mulder lately. Well, she didn't need him and she didn't need a cat, either. "Shoo," she said to it loudly, prodding it with her foot. "Get away. Find some cat lover to take you in." The cat didn't budge. Scully made a feint toward the cat and said, "Boo!" feeling ridiculous the whole time. Instead of scampering away, like a wild cat should have, it sat back on its haunches and regarded her while licking its paw. Scully sighed. She didn't have time or patience for this. "Look," she said, not quite believing she was speaking to a cat, "I'm going in now. I'm not going to feed you. I'm not going to pet you. I'm not going to let you sleep on my bed. Go away." The cat just looked at her. Giving up, Scully turned her back on the cat and went inside. She closed the door firmly in the cat's face and made her way to the elevator. That's that, she thought, stretching her neck muscles and feeling the joints pop. All she wanted tonight was a hot shower and bed. And God help Mulder if he called to interrupt her sleep. Although, come to think of it, he hadn't done that in a very long time. With that depressing thought, she let herself into her apartment and locked the door behind her. * * * This was not the first time a door had been shut in Bastet's face. She took it in stride, like the cat she was, and walked through the wall, like the god she was. * * * Scully awoke with a loud thrumming in her ears. Something warm, fuzzy, and heavy was lying on her head, purring like a buzz saw. "You'd better not be a cat," she warned. The thing that shouldn't have been a cat but nevertheless was one stretched, its claws digging into Scully's shoulder. "Ouch!" she cried out and sat up, dislodging her visitor. She raked her hair out of her eyes then drew her knees up to her chest. As she contemplated her furry intruder, it groomed itself busily. "I don't know how you found your way in here, but you'll have to go," she said. "You're going to have to find someone else to bother." The cat chirruped at her and seemed to smile. "No, it's no use. I don't like cats." Scully scooped the cat up in her arms and marched out of her bedroom and down the hall to her front door. She almost forgot her keys but managed to remember to grab them just before closing her door. As she walked down the hallway toward the elevator, juggling both keys and cat, she passed by neighbors peeking outside doorways, looking for their morning papers. She ignored their stares and walked with her head held high. If anyone could retain her dignity carrying a struggling black cat while wearing pink flannel pajamas, it was Dana Scully. * * * The god was nothing if not patient. Immortality tended to do that to a body. The woman was not making things easy, but the god was not put out. The easy ones were never any fun. Persistence was the key. Persistence and patience. The god had seen mountain ranges wear themselves down into foothills. She could outwait the stubbornness of any mere human. Besides, it wasn't like there was anything else to do. * * * Scully was not in a good mood as she drove home from work. Every night for two weeks she had come home to find that damned black cat installed in her apartment. She was at her wit's end. She had had her landlord inspect her windows and door. He had pronounced them all intact and impervious to trespassers, human and feline alike. Scully didn't believe him. Intruders didn't seem to have any trouble breaking into her apartment, and the cat kept on turning up there like a bad penny. She'd had a building inspector go over her windows and door with a fine-toothed comb and he'd also proclaimed her apartment sound. He'd said this while scratching the cat on the ears. "Cute little thing," he'd said. "What's her name?" "I have no idea," Scully had said in chilly tones. The building inspector had given her an odd look then hurried on his way. Her mother had been no help either. "Oh, isn't she adorable," her mother had proclaimed when she'd first seen the demon cat. "You really should keep her," she'd added, chucking the cat under the chin. The cat had purred loudly in appreciation. "I think you could do with a pet. And she's such a sweet thing." The cat had rolled over, showing her tummy. Scully's mother had obligingly petted her. The whole thing was disgusting. Then there was Mulder. She had thought at first he would've found it amusing--a black cat refusing to leave her alone. Instead, he had barely listened to her story, intent instead on their new case. "This one is special," he'd said. "I can feel it." His voice was fervent, his eyes bright and glassy. She was worried about him, but if the truth be told, she was getting tired of being worried about him. Right now she wanted to receive moral support on the whole cat issue from Mulder, and with his current preoccupation with their missing child case, it wasn't likely she would get it. The only thing she was willing to lay money on was that she'd have to forcibly eject a cat from her apartment until the world ended. Maybe it was time for her to move. Surely the cat wouldn't follow her. Surely not. But Scully had a sneaking suspicion that it would find a way to hound her for the rest of her life. She could kill it, but the thought made her stomach knot up. It's just a cat, she thought, but stomach remained clenched. Why won't it just go away? she thought. I just want to be left alone. Why won't it just go away? * * * Bastet's patience was starting to wear thin. It had been centuries since she'd dealt with such a stubborn human. Tonight, as the woman threw her out the door of the apartment building, she resisted the urge to give her a good scratch. By now she should be sleeping on a soft cushion at night. The woman should be feeding her tasty things like tuna and cream. She should already be hard at work at the real task at hand. Bastet couldn't believe the woman's continual refusal to be kept. She'd rarely encountered a human with such determination to be left alone. The god found it intriguing, but ultimately an annoyance. Nevertheless she wasn't giving up. The god would not contemplate cutting her losses and moving on. Her pride, both as a god and a cat, wouldn't allow it. She settled down and waited until her human was asleep then whisked herself into the woman's bed. Bar the door and windows all you like, she thought, you'll never be able to keep me out. * * * Scully came home and found the cat was waiting for her. It had a resigned look on its face. Until that moment, Scully hadn't known an animal could look resigned. "You're getting to be about the only thing I can count on, Cat," she said. She put down her briefcase and purse. "Death, taxes, and you. What a combination." Scully went over to the cat to pick it up for their nightly sojourn to the front door, but hesitated. She was wearing a white suit today. She'd never get all the black cat hairs off of it no matter how many times she had it dry cleaned. She went instead to her bedroom to change, the cat following closely on her heels, probably curious about the change in routine. Once undressed, she didn't feel like anything but a shower. Deciding the cat could wait a few more minutes, Scully stood under the spray and tried to wash off the day's events. Today had been a very bad day in a long string of them. Mulder was preoccupied with their current case to an extent that she didn't find healthy. Then his psyche had received a heavy blow after she had told him his mother was dead. He was teetering perilously close to a mental breakdown. The only reason she had consented to performing his mother's autopsy was to placate him. She felt she should go to him and try to give him comfort, but right now she was too tired and emotionally drained to remove the cat, let alone deal Mulder. After drying off, she sat on her bed in her robe and tried to work up the motivation to get dressed. I have things to do, she kept thinking. I have plans to keep. But her legs refused to move. The cat entered her bedroom and twined around her ankles. She could hear its rumbling purr in the silence of her room. Her arms moved of their own volition and picked up the cat. I should put her out, she thought, and rested her cheek against the soft fur. Now she could feel the purr as well as hear it. The sound soothed her in an unexpected way, mending her frayed edges. "He asked me to cut up his mother," she whispered to the cat. "And I did it. I sliced her flesh and do you know what I found? Nothing but a body riddled with cancer and a stomach full of sleeping pills. He made me do this thing, and for what purpose? He believes what he wants to believe. Nothing I say matters." The cat's fur became wet as she cried for Mulder, and Teena, and also herself. All throughout, the cat remained motionless and purring. As time wore on and her tears wore out, Scully found to her surprise that she felt better. The phone rang, disrupting the tranquil spell that had fallen over the room. Scully rose to answer it and discovered that her legs worked after all. "No, Mulder," she said into the receiver, "I'd rather tell you in person....Yes, I'll be right over." She dressed with no hesitation, rehearsing in her head how she would break the news to him. The cat lay on the bed, forgotten for the moment. It was only much later, as she sped toward Mulder's apartment, that she realized she hadn't ejected the cat from her home. No matter, she thought. She seems to be able to come and go as she pleases. I can throw her out when I get back. She's always there when I get home. Late that night, after Mulder had talked and cried himself into exhaustion, she sat beside his slumbering body and felt his heartbeat. It reminded her of the cat's purring. Listening to the rhythmic pulse, she fell asleep. Somewhere in her unconscious mind was the thought that maybe she could surrender to the inevitable and let the cat stay. The idea wormed its way through her brain, insinuating itself into areas of conscious thought. By the next morning she made up her mind. For better or worse, the cat could stay. * * * The god lay on the woman's bed exhausted but extremely pleased. It had taken an awful amount of energy, but she had finally gotten through to her human. Before long, she would be able to concentrate her efforts on the second phase of the project. She fell into a deep sleep that did not break when the woman returned many hours later. The god remained curled in a tight ball all the while the woman pulled out clothes and packed them into a bag. While Bastet slumbered on, the woman called her mother. "Could you come by and check on the cat while I'm gone? ...Maybe. We'll see....Can you get her some food? And whatever else she'll need? I won't have a chance before I leave....Love you too, Mom. I'll see you when I get back." Despite being fast asleep, the god heard this and a smug smile formed on her feline lips. * * * Like a cat stalking its prey, the god had seen potential in the woman from the first and went after it single- mindedly. Concentrating on one thing to the exclusion of all else was one of her strengths. What Bastet lacked, however, was far-sightedness. For cats, there is only now, not next week, or even tomorrow. The god was not as limited in her scope as a cat, but she had spent too many lifetimes in a feline shape not to pick up a feline point of view. She was therefore horrified when she got her first glimpse into the woman's soul. Bastet was not a powerful god, and her omnipotence was limited. She had had no way of clearly reading the woman's thoughts and feelings until she had been welcomed by her fully. Now that the woman had opened up a tiny bit of her heart to the cat that had invaded her home, the god was able to see what she had gotten herself in for. It wasn't a comforting vision. The god had anticipated that this woman would be a challenge; she hadn't expected her task to be impossible. The woman's barrenness was a piece of cake to deal with compared to this. How can you get a woman pregnant when she's celibate? Celibate by choice, at that, and not by circumstances. The god was incredulous. This was a problem she had never encountered before. Even that Spanish nun she'd dealt with centuries earlier was easier work with than this woman. Bastet shook herself. No. She would not admit defeat at this late date. What she needed was a goal. An obtainable goal. She would take this one step at a time. She would push things along. Then let nature take its course. And if that didn't work, she'd just have to push nature along. She was a god, after all. She wasn't about to have her track record marred by one overly fastidious old maid. It was not to be borne. In the meantime, she needed to rest and regain her energy. She sensed exhausting times ahead. Just to show that she meant business, she got up, ate the tuna the woman had left out for her then went to take a very long nap. * * * Scully came home in a rotten mood. She threw down her briefcase and bag then proceeded to strip out of her clothes. With a grimace of distaste, she threw the garments in a brown paper bag. "It's the incinerator for you," she declared. Cat chirruped inquiringly. "The clothes, not you," she told the cat. Cat groomed herself with industry, unwilling to show that she'd been concerned. Scully chuckled and rubbed her ears. "I'm going to take a shower until the water runs cold, then I'll fix both of us some dinner. Sound good?" The cat wurfed in agreement. "It's a date, then." Later, after she had scrubbed herself pink and then fed both herself and Cat, Scully began to vent about her day. Scully would never had admitted it to another soul, but unburdening herself to the cat made her feel worlds better afterward. Besides, it was cheaper than therapy. "I can't believe he left me alone in that scummy room doing surveillance duty of all things. My nose still hasn't recovered from the reek of that place. Unconsciously or not, Cat, I think he's trying to punish me," said Scully, her hand stroking the cat's velvety fur. "It's because I went off with Spender without telling him. God forbid I ditch him for a change." The cat huffed and Scully took that for assent. "He's driving me crazy, Cat. One day he follows me around practically drooling, the next he treats me like I have the plague. I'm tired of this limbo-like state we exist in--not lovers, but more than friends." Cat asked, "Merow?" as if to say, "Really?" Scully sighed, weariness filling her. She saw no change in her future as it stretched ahead of her. Long years of work awaited her with no family waiting for her when she got home. She leaned her head back on the sofa and closed her eyes. Her life was very full, she told herself. She did good, necessary work. She made a difference. Her eyes burned with the effort of holding back unshed tears. She would not cry over this. It was ridiculous and weak to feel sorry for herself. The cat stretched up and butted her head against Scully's chin, chirruping softly. "Oh well, Cat, at least I have you." * * * The god was, for the first time in her existence, completely at a loss. Her project was going nowhere fast even though she had been working on it for months. Nothing she did seemed to work. At best there was no effect, and at worst her efforts backfired in nasty ways. Right now the woman and her Mulder were barely on speaking terms, mostly due to a few minor miscalculations on the god's part. Okay, so distance didn't make the heart always grow fonder. Sometimes, it just pissed off the heart in question. She was also getting worried. Never before had the god spent so much time with a human. Bastet found that she sort of...well...liked it. Not that she'd admit that to another god. Liking humans too much was dangerous. Taking a personal interest was one thing. Rolling over to have your belly scratched was a perk of the job. But comforting your human because she was feeling blue was another story. She was a god, not a pet. She owned the human, not the other way around. She did not feel affection for the woman. She was not stalling in order to stay with the woman a little longer. She wouldn't miss the tuna, or the liver, or the cream. Not at all. Nor would she miss being petted or scratched behind the ears. No, sir. She was a fancy free god. It was only the unfinished business that kept her here. The god repeated this until she believed it. Or until she nearly believed it. Bastet knew she was fooling herself. She was in very real danger of ceasing to be a god. It was the fate for many gods over the years. Immortality was lonely. Choosing to be mortal was very tempting. The god knew she was a whisker from becoming a real cat. She needed to finish this business and move on, the farther away the better. She thought warm sun on her back and sand in her paws might do the trick. In addition, she would swear off people entirely for a century or two. She needed some distance from them. If she could, she'd cut her losses and leave tonight. Unfinished miracles, however, are death to gods every bit as much as too much longing to be mortal. One more unfinished miracle and she'd be washed up for good. She was caught in a trap of her own making. The god batted at a milk jug ring while she thought about her dilemma. Maybe it was time to bring in some outside help. She had a few favors she could call in and failing that, deals could be struck. Something had to be done before it was too late. Pride goeth before a fall. Bastet understood that all too well now. * * * "This will cost you," the goddess said. "My services are expensive." Bastet nodded. "I know, Didi, but I don't know who else to turn to. The situation is beyond my ability." Or control, she added silently. The goddess trilled out a sparkling laugh. "You are but a little thing. I do not understand why you're even bothering. She isn't worth it. Find someone else to occupy your time. Or do you love her?" The goddess bent down to study Bastet. "Have you forgotten what you are?" She laughed again, this time derisively. "How droll. I haven't seen this sort of thing in years." Of course the goddess was right. She always was about love. Matters of the heart were her specialty when you got right down to it. Nevertheless the god resented Didi rubbing it in. "I don't have to take this," said Bastet, bristling. "I am a god, same as you. I have rights." The goddess peered at her with disinterested eyes. "Do you need my help or not?" The god shoved down her pride. "Yes, I do. What's the price?" "We'll discuss payment when I've completed my side of the bargain. Is it a deal?" Bastet put her paw into the slim hand of the lovely goddess. "It's a deal." * * * Scully felt like a toy on the end of string being pulled this way and that at the whims of power greater than she. Coincidences were stacking up at a suspicious rate. First had been the mix-up with the x-rays. What were the odds of that, anyway? Scully thought it was about as likely as Mulder finding computer generated crop circles appearing in England. Until she had seen Daniel today, Scully hadn't realized the ties he still held her by. He had been her first real love. They say you never forget your first love, but she had managed to do so until now. She'd forgotten his intelligence and naiveté, his passion and possessiveness, his generous nature and sullen tempers. All this time she had stored away their relationship in her mind as one of her greatest failures, but now she was beginning to see how right she was to have moved on with her life. She couldn't believe he had lived all this time in D.C. waiting for her. It was ironic that he had been here all along and she had never run into him until today. Then there was the girl she'd been seeing all day. First, she had handed her Daniel's x-rays, then Scully had almost hit her with her car while talking to Mulder. The near miss had been due to her inattention, but the whole scene had felt orchestrated somehow. Later, she had seen her again before finding that magical temple. Just who was she? She was important somehow, Scully felt sure, but how she knew this she could not say. This was all more Mulder's territory than her own. I wish he were back here, she thought. He'd have an explanation for all of this. It might be farfetched, but it would be an explanation. I miss him. When did I start to miss him this much? * * * The goddess went to the sleeping man and stroked his hair. "He's lovely, isn't he?" she asked the god. Bastet shrugged, or would have if cats could shrug. "He's not hard on the eyes." "Your human is made of sturdy stuff to be able to resist this one. What an attractive pair of ninnies they make." She laughed her silvery laugh and the man moaned in his sleep. "Don't wake him," warned Bastet. "Shush." The goddess leaned close to the man's ear. "Go home," she whispered. "She's waiting for you. Go home." The man moaned again and rolled over. "There, that ought to do it," the goddess said, standing up and brushing her hands together briskly. "Come on, time's wasting." She and Bastet faded from the room just as the man began to stir and wake. * * * Bastet and the goddess watched over the sleeping woman. "This had better work," said the god in an anxious tone. "Relax," said Didi. I know what I'm doing." She snapped her fingers and the phone began to ring. "Now all we have to do is sit back and watch the fireworks." The gods faded away as the woman woke. * * * Scully saw the girl again and this time she was determined to catch her. She ran forward and grabbed her arm, not even sure what she was going to say, when she saw that it was Mulder. She was momentarily confused then her heart began to thump in her chest. It was as if she were seeing him for the first time, or perhaps just seeing him with new eyes. I love him, she thought. My God, I'm in love with him. I have been all this time. How have I not seen it? Taking Mulder's arm, she went back with him to his apartment and told him everything that had happened to her over mugs of tea and wedges of the English shortbread he'd brought home with him. With every word she felt freer and lighter and she wondered why she'd been so reticent in the past. Instead of talking to my cat, she thought, I should have been talking to him. "Scully," she heard him whisper, "are you asleep?" She'd closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, she found Mulder's face inches from her own. "No," she whispered back. "Not yet." His lips were a breath from hers, yet a chasm away. What if every event of her life had led up to this moment? Who was she to throw away what fate was tossing up before her? She leaned forward and touched his lips with her own. Around her, time slowed. All that existed was this room with Mulder and her in it. The quiet sounds around them were amplified: the pounding of her pulse, the bubbles surfacing in the aquarium. Everything seemed to happen in such a deliberate way that Scully felt as if destiny had fallen down on their heads. Fingers found fever hot skin, unbuttoning and unzipping, until each of them was naked before the other. She felt Mulder's mouth on her nipples and cried out. The sound reverberated in the room, building to a crescendo as he touched and kissed her. Mulder's voice joined hers as she straddled his thighs and pulled him inside her. They moved together, desperate to make up for lost time, to relieve the agony of waiting, to assure each other that all this was real. "Oh, my God," moaned Scully as felt Mulder come within her. It was too much and she had to bite down on Mulder's neck in order to keep from flying apart into pieces. How long had it been since she'd felt the heat of a man's body? She couldn't think. She felt her own climax and shattered anyway, falling into shards all around him. He gathered her close and for that moment at least, they were one. * * * The god lay in the warm sun and tried not to think of the woman. Everything was fine now, she told herself, trying hard to be convincing. Scully had her man and a baby on the way. It was what the woman had dreamed of, in her most secret hours, when only the god was privy to her thoughts. She's happy, Bastet decided. Just let it go. When the miracle had been successfully performed, the god had felt her self-imposed bond to the woman break. She had left that night, escaping from the apartment as easily as she had broken in. At first she had only thought to run for as long as she could in any direction away from the woman. With her power drained from the completed miracle, Bastet had had to hole up in an alley to recharge her energy. When she had at last been able to, she had shed the cat body and taken on human form. Traveling long distances as a cat was nearly impossible, and Bastet was still afraid of being trapped as a feline forever. It was bad enough that the human face she'd created had pointed features and vivid green eyes. The god had eventually made her way to her first home. It was good to see the sea again. The Mediterranean had never looked so blue. She spent long hours basking in the sun and looking at the water, playing tourist. She was frazzled by her recent experience but she had a very long time to chill out. "Excuse me, ma'am, but I have a message for you." The god looked up and saw a young boy standing beside her. He was also dressed as a tourist, in shorts, sneakers, and a baseball hat. She noticed that hat and sneakers were embroidered with golden wings. "Let me guess," she said. "My bill from Didi." The messenger shrugged. "I don't read 'em, just deliver 'em. Do you want me to wait for a reply?" "Give me a second to read it," she said. Let the price be something I can afford, she hoped. The letter read as follows: Bastie darling, I have already taken my prize for helping you. He is very delicious. Thank you ever so much. Hugs and kisses, Didi "Oh, fuck," said the god. "Is that the message you want me to take back?" asked the messenger with disapproval. "No, wait. I have to do something. I had no idea that bitch, excuse me, that she would even consider doing such a thing. Can you wait for me to write a few letters?" Bastet wrung her hands together. This was all her fault. She should have foreseen it and never asked that oversexed hussy to help her. Dammit. The god wanted very much to smite something, but smite wasn't in her arsenal. Instead she did the practical thing and wrote her letters. The only way to sort out a dispute like this was through arbitration. * * * The first chairgod stepped to the podium. "Folks, I know it's been a long day, but the other gods and I have nearly come to a decision. Please bear with us a few minutes longer. Didi looked over at her and stuck out her tongue. Bastet didn't deign to respond. Behind them, various gods, demi-gods, and immortals murmured and whispered to each other. This was the most exciting thing to occur in decades. The first chairgod banged his gavel on the podium. "Don't make me come out there and damn you," he said. "Now, these are they key elements as we see them. Aphrodite performed a service for Bastet. An undisclosed payment for said favor was agreed upon by the two parties. Are you with me so far?" Both gods nodded at him. "Great. Now is where we get to the difficulties." The god began to chew on the end of his long beard in an absent-minded way. "Didi here claimed that she took her desired payment as agreed to in the bargain. Bast, on the other hand, said that Didi took something as payment that should have been out of bounds. Didi retorted that as there were no specifications to the payment, she can have what she wants. Bast returned that the thing in question did not belong to her, and thus cannot serve as payment. Yada, yada, yada." "Get on with it, Jo," said a chairgoddess behind him. "We may have all millennia to deal with this, but as the payment in question is human, it also comes with an expiration date. I'd like to resolve this before the question becomes moot." "Point taken, Gaia," he replied. "I think we should bring it to a vote. Okay, let's go. Starting with you at the end, Al." Each chairgod in turn rose and gave his or her vote. "There we go," said the first chairgod. "All settled. The council has decided five to two in favor of returning the payment. I think we're pretty much in agreement," he gave very hard looks to the two gods who had voted against the majority, "that what you took was not a proper forfeit. That is all, thank you. Now we can all go home." He and the other gods started to leave but Didi's voice cut them off. "Wait. I'm still owed something, aren't I?" Bastet looked anxious. Didi was in a steaming snit now and who knew what evil thing she'd ask for. The first chairgod sat back down and the other chairs followed. "Very well. We might as well settle this here and now. I don't want a repeat performance of today, thank you very much." "I want her to give up immortality," Didi proclaimed. Gasps went up from the crowd behind them. Gods began shouting in protest. This sort of request was unheard of. "For one lifetime," Didi finished. "I want you to live a lifetime without powers or knowing what you are. To go through life being ordinary. It will be entertaining to watch, I think. It doesn't make up for what I am losing, but it will do. You will provide me with years of laughter. I find that to be fair compensation." Bastet let out the breath she'd been holding. The price was high, but it was fair. There was no complaint she could reasonably make, but she did have one objection. "You don't have the power to force that on me, Didi," she remarked. "But we do," said the first chairgod. "As spokesgod for the council, I will accede to your request of payment, Didi, as being fair and aboveboard. A little cruel, to be sure, but we aren't here to judge that sort of thing, are we? We will make the necessary arrangements. Didi, you may go. Court is dismissed. Bast, come with us, if you please. And remember dear," he added as she drew near, "it isn't forever. Being human is pretty awful, but you do get used to it. Take it from me." He winked at her and gave her hand a sqeeze. "And don't look so worried. I won't put you anywhere too terrible." * * * "Scully, it's a girl." Mulder beamed with happiness and accomplishment as if he had done this all on his own. "Of course it's a girl," panted Scully. "We knew that months ago." "It's nice to know for sure, though," he replied, grinning ear to ear. "True," said Scully, gazing at her baby for the first time, "since we didn't pick out any boy's names and he'd look pretty silly going through life named Rose." "Isn't she beautiful?" he asked anyone who'd listen. The doctors and nurses had long since stopped paying attention to him. "Those eyes, though," said Scully, studying her daughter. "I've never known a baby to have green eyes from birth. She's got your hair, too." She stroked the soft strands and was reminded of the fur of a kitten. "We're very lucky, Mulder," she said. "Luck had nothing to do with it," said Mulder. And that was the truth. The End _____________________ Please write me and tell me what you thought. Or, barring that, share a cat anecdote. I can be reached at klkeil@butter.toast.net.